A BAWDY OF WATER

As a soft they youngin
My rounded thiccness made me happy
Horny even
Before ever knowing it as such
During puberty tho
I wanted to hide it
& hide from it best I could
Would bind my burgeoning baby breasts
Or bandaid my puffy pointed nipples down
For fear of my truth being discovered
Hunched my shoulders forward
As to make my chest flatter
Tucked down my rib cage
And fixed my gaze toward the ground
So that I could at all times monitor
How my surface would present itself for
Underneath my tee was no GI Joe torso
No bones with hard woven anatomy
Like that of the neighbor boys
Who’s bodies I would see
When we chased a dead snake
Down this little dirty stream
In the Alabama wood behind our houses


Because my body was removed
Because my softness was hardened
Because my nature was shamed
Because my voice was silenced
Because my home was demolished
Because my land was taken
Because my freedom was a lie
When at infancy my trusted protectors
Left their posts
​
My soft body, my true body, my queer body
Was with one slice, a stream of terror
But if god made dirt and dirt don’t hurt
Then why would my body be born in filth?
Purpose & pleasure removed from my reach
& why would it not be glory?
This body of bodies of water
I have been terrified
For I have been terrorized
This fear I feel through pain
An inescapable kind of default
The message is permanent
Engraved into my softness my nature
Is hardness and shame
The path, the way against and away from
My home, my ancestors The First Gender
Who are soft thick and sensitive
Dirty little streams, carrying dead snakes
Through the dark & deep Alabama wood
Behind all of our houses

My Transition Is My Way Home.
​Lil Miss Bitch Tits
HTXXO