Illustration by Hollywood Texas 2020 for www.queerpowers.com
The colonizer (YHWH) has constructed the modern concept of cleanliness. To the civilized settler, it is a stationary concept, a goal, an ends, a state to achieve, and to think about achieving, always. It is positioned as the opposition to, and cure for all things considered dirty, or of the dirt. Meaning the earth (mother), and those who are in direct relation (reverence) to it/her: indigenous people. “Cleanliness is next to godliness” is an indigephobic, civilized, settler mentality based on, stolen, misinterpreted, then reconstructed process of transformation demonstrated through the First Gender (indigenous intersex/intergender) experiences of being; reflecting the two great universal forces of destruction and creation. There is a great difference between cleanliness and cleansing. Being clean is not a holy or sacred way to be. The process of cleansing though, is a holy and sacred process, spoken by nature, and by the universe. It is the language of life itself. Being clean is a static and stale state, while cleansing is a movement filled process that is always in flux and is filled with purpose: change.
SOLVE ET COAGULA : to separate and bring together (the push is the pull, the eternal balance). It is within the process of cleansing is that godliness can be found, for cleansing requires the breakdown of what currently is, and trusting in the process of change to bring (together) the new. Clean is not a place, meaning it does not exit in nature. It is an unnatural goal. An unrealistic state. And at times today, necessary, but the colonizers perception of clean is actually sterility. And like sterility it has no life, is dull and devoid of nutrients. Its is no coincidence that not only has the colonizer afflicted indigenous peoples with its diseases (from which things like COVID-19 are an evolution of) since first contact, but is in of itself a disease to the being of humans.
Water is cleansing. Earth is cleansing. Wind is cleansing. Fire is cleansing. Smoke is cleansing. Sound is cleansing. Change is cleansing. Specifically, cleansing as a highly spiritual process of clearing what used to be in order to produce change is the very process demonstrated by indigenous trans/queer people for all time. This is alchemy. This is magic. This is dangerous and threatening to the empire. This is why the devil was created. Positioned in the dark, opposite to the light, opposite the clean. To make sure that nature, transformation, change, and indigenous movement are feared. Below (the Devil & Hell) as opposed to above (god YHWH & Heaven).
In Judaism, in Islam, and in western medicine focused Christian America, the non-consensual mutilation of infant genitals, performed soon after birth, is the colonizer (YHWH) cleansing itself of natural movement, the indigenous, First Gender (intersex & intergender) being and the source of knowledge it was born with. With this new body, and with access to natural movement denied, it can form and maintain a new alien (meaning foreign to human, or at least inauthentic) movement and subsequent identity: one always seeking to pursue a path away from its natural, indigenous self, through fear. Indigephobia is not only targeted at others, but originally (for the colonizer), at the self (the child treated as an extension of self as opposed to an individual). Indigephobia is the source of racism, anti-blackness, white supremacy, the patriarchy, the empire, the colonizer, the enslaver, the settler: self repression.
Actions speak louder than worlds. This concept permeates indigenous belief and is why most cleansing practices are connected with a very focused process, beginning with an intention and ending with an offering. Cleansing our descendants of the same nature we were cleansed of leaves us in the same subconsciously subordinate pattern and susceptible to an isolated (meaning away from indigenous), fear based mode of consciousness. Consciousness being informed by movement, or lack thereof.
Indigenous peoples world over have a spiritual connection with their home land/earth/habitat and do not consider things of nature to be “dirty”. Indigenous people who do circumcise as means of maintaining a “warrior culture”, know the intention is to harden a body for a life of war. This ritual is most often performed with the child’s knowledge at an age of becoming, or performed by themselves at adult age to prove their commitment to their gender/ or role.
The only land that the Human Being owns is their own body. Knowledge is not found in the brain but in the heart. If the heart of the First Gender is broken, then the knowledge is severed, and the land forgotten. There is nothing more heartbreaking to me, to my people, to the First Gender, than the assault, the mutilation, the betrayal of The Descendants. The Descendants are The Ancestors. They are born with the eternal knowledge. Age is nothing but change. Death is birth. Birth is death. All is always changing, in all ways. The human body is our way to feel, to experience, to sense, to process, to produce - change, the universal language, of the entire universe. The being of the human. This happens only through movement. Through the body. This land is not dirty. This land is of the earth. As above, so below (the push is the pull).
Polaroids by Jillian Gnarling
The non-consensual and non-essential surgical mutilation of infant genitalia is a direct attempt to erase the existence of intersex and intergender people; which has existed in practice, by the colonizer, for thousands of years. Violent, fear based enforcement of the binary upon not only the body but also upon and within the human subconsciousness, as a means of controlling self knowledge (aka authenticity) is terrorism, or ...religion.
This is only done to propagate the idea that the Cisgendered Heteronormative experience of a human body, and whats done with it, is the only “normal” experience one “should” have; and that any/all other completely natural variations of human sexual and gendered expressions/relations outside the binary are “deviant” and/or “abnormal” (ironic sad considering the complacency with the practice of cutting up baby private parts as being normal in any way).
When you are unable to experience your authentic body, you are unable to experience your authentic pleasure - you are unable to experience your authentic self, your authentic knowledge, your authentic happiness. And you may become unaware that you are experiencing someone else’s definition of being. Unaware that you are not you, a human being. Unaware that you have been enslaved. This is the intention of mutilation.
Gender variance is as natural as sexual variance - yet we are told that all babies are born with either one of two genital options and that those two options are intrinsically tied to our gender expression (something to be fixed and unchangeable); as opposed to being told that every single human being is born unique and that our bodies & beings reflect this endless, eternal, universal path called change.
Self pleasure is the revolution.
Welcome to the jungle.
#decolonizesex #mojosexual #firstgender
Self Pleasure is Rock N Roll
The original conjure
It is the indigenous way of life
& Rock N Roll is Black Lives
The original culture
Black Trans Women Are Killed
Because Black Trans Women Are Feared
For the amount of Rock N Roll
Coursing their veins
The divinity that flows through
Is a knowledge that is threatening
To all things civility
Feared for the audacity to pursue purpose
Feared by those that bathe
In the comfort of conformity
& the bliss of ignorance
They who are bred to fear the sovereign
As much as the subordinate
Black Trans Women have the strength
To swim against all streams
Go against all grain
For the pleasure of existence
Not for glory, not for fame, or legacy
Just to know themselves
To know the truth
& must walk a path of not just protest
But one of WAR, sacred warriorship
Self Pleasure Is Rock N Roll
& it is a transgression
For in America’s eyes
& In the eyes of Empires
Rock N Roll is still The Devil
The enemy of the state
But in The Ancestors eyes
Black Trans Lives Are Indigenous Medicine
Beholden to them, I define myself
A Transsexual, A Mojosexual, A First Gendered, A Transgendered, A Queer,
A Feminine, Human Being
Called Hollywood Texas
P.S. no one can support any lives, contribute to any change, make any magic, heal any wound, without loving themselves enough to make changes at the source.
#firstgender #mojosexual #lilmissbitchtits2020 #pride2020 #decolonizesex
As a soft they youngin
My rounded thiccness made me happy
Before ever knowing it as such
During puberty tho
I wanted to hide it
& hide from it best I could
Would bind my burgeoning baby breasts
Or bandaid my puffy pointed nipples down
For fear of my truth being discovered
Hunched my shoulders forward
As to make my chest flatter
Tucked down my rib cage
And fixed my gaze toward the ground
So that I could at all times monitor
How my surface would present itself for
Underneath my tee was no GI Joe torso
No bones with hard woven anatomy
Like that of the neighbor boys
Who’s bodies I would see
When we chased a dead snake
Down this little dirty stream
In the Alabama wood behind our houses
Because my body was removed
Because my softness was hardened
Because my nature was shamed
Because my voice was silenced
Because my home was demolished
Because my land was taken
Because my freedom was a lie
When at infancy my trusted protectors
Left their posts
My soft body, my true body, my queer body
Was with one slice, a stream of terror
But if god made dirt and dirt don’t hurt
Then why would my body be born in filth?
Purpose & pleasure removed from my reach
& why would it not be glory?
This body of bodies of water
I have been terrified
For I have been terrorized
This fear I feel through pain
An inescapable kind of default
The message is permanent
Engraved into my softness my nature
Is hardness and shame
The path, the way against and away from
My home, my ancestors The First Gender
Who are soft thick and sensitive
Dirty little streams, carrying dead snakes
Through the dark & deep Alabama wood
Behind all of our houses
My Transition Is My Way Home.
Lil Miss Bitch Tits
The Manticore is an ancient Persian mythological creature AKA The Androphagoi or “MANEATER” that is based on my ancestors, indigenous human beings called The First Gender. The Manticore or Mantichora were said to have the body of a lion, the head of a human (often bearded and called “man”), the tail and sting of a scorpion (one very deadly which produces a crop, spreading an infection to devour more hosts), the wings of a bat, many rows of teeth, who spoke with a voice that of trumpets to lure in prey, and whose young were hunted and mutilated by severing off their “tail” in order to prevent it from growing poisonous stings: all of these things being hyper illustrated metaphors for the many naturally transexual attributes of the Fitst Gender human being, our relationship to the forces of nature and the universe, and how we are hunted and removed from concouseness. In fact, all human-animal hybrids weather be gods or monsters have been based on the First Gender, or rather our imposed fearful relationship to them. Our truths turned myths by the power of storytelling: scrolls, books, songs, movies etc. The fear of transsexuality implemented through sexual repression has been so imbedded in our consciousness for thousands of years it permeates all we know today weather be fiction or non. If being told by the colonizer, we are the story of the monster, the creature, the savage, the pagan, barbarian, the werewolf, the devil. In a world built by men, this definitely how I feel often - like my monstrous ancestors: feared and hunted as a mutilated, maneating creature whose ability to change, inspires others to “eat man” as well. But then again, it was a woman who heard my voice on a call today and then referred to me as ma’am.
#firstgender #mojosexual #decolonizethisspace
Artwork by Broobs
Deeply imbedded in our subconscious, there lies a fragile superiority complex that wants to keep us close, one that needs us so that it may thrive. It is not one person, or kind of people but a part of our being today, the world over. Our beliefs, thoughts, actions have all been influenced by the idea of property and our egos have been attached to the reverence of ownership for so very long and in so many ways that it is very difficult to even imagine things differently; but the concept of identifying ourselves sexuality (infact, every conceivable identity for that matter), is the focus on what separates us as opposed to what brings us together and is born out of a primal type of fear - one of the unknown. Our indigenous ancestors called Human Beings did not have any concept of ownership. They experienced the earth, all its features and inhabitants, past/future and present, as an extension of the same being - something called Oneness (meaning whole), and viewed themselves as a unique articulation of this oneness. The ego of the colonizer came from this same idea of oneness but instead of relating to wholeness it has evolved to become the focus on our singularity (what prevents wholeness), and the source of many an imbalance and much illness.
Since it is very unnatural to own something that you come from (nature: our ancestor), let alone something that you see yourself in (humanity: our descendant), our similarities were removed from our focal consciousness so that the colonizer (insert: slavery) could thrive. We are able to own and be owned (yes enslave and be enslaved) ONLY by retaining our preference for our perceived differences - sex, gender, age, race, nationality, size, ability, ethnicity, etc. - all separatist minded observations. Though we are all unique and different in many ways, as human beings we possess far more similarities. Our differences are what could make every single human person an artist; but the colonizer exists as the capitalist idea that any human expression (art) is something to be monetarily valued based on skill and then commodified - a product as opposed to a sacred process meant to invoke spirit and authenticity. Though today’s most prominent example of the colonizer would be the white, American, cisgendered, heterosexual male, the mentality and the pattern of the colonizer is not at all limited to this person nor “white people” as a whole. Ownership is the foundational principle of the colonizer, it is an ancient concept, almost as ancient as our concept of self, and in today’s human experience there are very few ways in which we are shown to be happy without some attachment to the idea of property. The colonizer believes in ownership so passionately that currency has been created to manifest this most heinous and unnatural relationship with the world and all its peoples.
Sexuality, as in the idea of having a sexual identity (or any ID for that matter) or orientation is a concept (one of many in place today) similar to the gender binary which is used to enforce this ownership consciousness and preserve the ego of the colonizer - who fears what it cannot compartmentalize. True freedom being a terrifying experience as much as having an open mind can be fearful and dangerous one to have. Therefore the colonizer’s focus can be found within the (false sense of) security of polarity / aka: repress the spectrum (process) and enforce the binary (polarity). A Heterosexual assumes the ownership of their partners’ sexual expression and gives up ownership of their own, to a body of the “opposite sex”, while a Homosexual agrees to give up ownership of their own expression and have another of the “same sex” own theirs. But your sexuality is yours, it does not belong to another if you don’t want it to, there is no sex same as yours and there is no sex opposite of anyone’s. Asexual orientation is not one of lacking a sexual expression but one of sexual independence, the asexual understands that their expression is not limited to sharing of bodies, of genitalia, as does the Mojosexual - meaning one who encounters the experience of life itself, through their own human body, as a “sexual” one, aka one who experiences all things sex, as spirit.
Though sex is something that is sometimes shared with another body - it is in no way belonged to by that sharing. If every sensation and experience one can have, “sexually” or not, occurs within the body of the experiencer - then sex only truly happens within each of us. And if it happens uniquely within us all as demonstrated by our DNA, then everyone’s sex must be just as complex, as original, and mysterious / a beautiful difference with a sacred purpose to be expressed. Aka everyone has a kink. Sex is not limited to genitalia or activities involving their stimulation. Sex is homeostasis, it is the balanced (or unbalanced) and harmonious (sometimes painful) relationship our body holds with and within itself. It is chemical, ancestral, scientific, mathematic and artistic. Without sexual repression (what the colonizer depends on), there would be no capitalization, no slavery, no “civilization” (all anti-indigenous or indigiphobic concepts). The foundation of our society and concept of self today is dependent on the repression of this truth: sex is who we are. Sex is every second that passes (time), every thought that thinks (consciousness), every action taken (free will), SEX IS KNOWING. And colonization is the unknowing, the dulling, the desensitization, the destination.
Ye Old Books (Bible, Torah, Koran) are full of truths. All three of Abraham’s religions tell the truth but through the colonizers mind, as they were born of the “new reverence”, from the ancient monotheistic consciousness called YHWH (yah-whey) which naturally opposes human Indigineity: being polytheistic by nature, born of reverence for the many infinite forces of nature (human nature, unrepressed). Through our attachment to property we made certain our detachment from nature and have created the pattern that “white peoples” would capitalize on and spread like a virus over time up until today. We have been able to record and repeat true words but have failed to remember that actions speak louder (movement being the language of nature) than words or text. Speaking authentically with yer spirit, with yer being is vibrational and resonates with all else that nature has created. If we were allowed and encouraged to speak naturally, authentically, then the colonizer YHWH would have no food.
Belief truly (ancestrally) means what the body does, not what the head or heart think or feel, aka being as knowledge, not an opinion or a preference. You are what you eat and everything that humans have created externally, is and has always been an extension of what is inside - be it from tools, to weapons, of art, of home, of science of spirit of happiness. Books allow us a glimpse of someone else’s knowledge which does inspire our own to arise; but the only book there is for a Human Being to read is their own body. This is why the foundation of the colonizers success was to eliminate oral history (by perpetually removing its storytellers) and replace it with a written one. Books that would cause more human death and indigenous genocide than any weapon ever created - the Old Testament, the Bible, the Koran. What the colonizer calls sex is also the book of knowing of my people - The Qadex (meaning holy people: from the gendered Hebrew word “ka-desh” / “ka-desha). A once greatly revered indigenous holy people of the ancient Middle East, akin to Two Spirit First Nation people’s of America, they were/ we are The First Gender - the being of the indigenous human (where “knowing” someone, biblically: meaning sexually, comes from). The Qadex were the story tellers of our species, the tree of life that bore the fruit of the gender binary, the link between our ancestors and us. They were entrusted with telling our story through their actions and were honored as holy people for this sacred relationship by the communities they served within.
I am called Hollywood Texas and I am a First Gendered Mojosexual and a keeper of the Tao of the Qadex (the sacred way) - my sex, sexual identity, sexual expression, sexual transitions and gender expression(s) are mine and they do not belong to any other body. I am responsible for my own pleasure and my own happiness and within this human body, possess the necessary ingredients. Balance is mine to pursue but is not a very stable experience by nature - as balance requires constant movement though it may appear to be still. With the deformation of my body: the colonizer intended to removed me from my book of knowledge, and place me within his. I know the colonizer because I was the colonizer, he was my father, he was who I used to be, who I used to want to be and am only ever working very intentionally on decolonizing my being and body from his pattern, in pursuit of my authenticity. Sexual healing is my full time gig and it’s not for money. My body (the indigenous queer body I was born into) was enslaved to him and his ways, over thousands of years, through the mutilation of my infant genitalia so for me, the work of decolonization does not end, it is never finished. Every chain unbroken reveals another, locked up for someone else’s safe keeping. But I no longer believe in achieving my goals, I now believe in focusing on the process necessary to produce my own happiness - And have learned to enjoy the process of breaking of chains.
The Hyper Vigilante,
The human being has been colonized
Where movement once thrived
Purposeful and directionless
Now stagnation reigns
Selfish and insensitive
The human body has been enslaved
To unnatural patterns
And a false god
The pursuit of value does not resonate
Within the walls of our one true home Once we hunted for our knowledge
And gathered for our spirits
Now the hunt has been turned against
And all gathering gone away with
Tho never gone for good
But hidden deep within the fog
With no light to guide on no path to foot
A sound is made
A whisper is spoken
And the breath of truth is uttered
A foreign language by now
But soon fluency rises
And our language will be returned
Howdy, I’m called Hollywood Texas and I’m a Trans, Mojosexual, healer/bodyworker and this is my movement practice, Mojo Flow. As a student of my ancestors - The First Gender, I believe there is only one thing to learn about in life and that is yourself, the body of your being. Mojo is the force that flows through every living body and it does not start or stop; it is like water, it flows. Mojo Flow is the restoration of our connection to happiness, to authenticity. This is the decolonization of the human being.
🌹The human being (your body) has been colonized by linearity (much like the binary). Although the human body itself is capable of what appears to be linear movement: forward and backward, up and down, left and right etc., the concept of straight lines and linear progression is an unnatural concept, it is the colonizers path and pursuit, the white man’s language. The indigenous body - The Human Being, is Queer and only truly moves non-linearly, or spherically. Anatomically, we are designed for movement, it is our indigenous language, and our actions speak volumes louder than our words. Though movement is increasingly being removed from our being, it is the foundation of our essence of expression - think sport, dance, strength, flexibility, balance, agility, stamina and speed but also is essential to happiness as movement is change; and though change may be uncomfortable, painful at times, it is necessary, it is natural and is your right.
🌹Gyms/studios can be wonderful spaces (though not usually inviting to queer or alternatively sized and alt. abled folks) and within the realm of “fitness” one is certainly able to learn how to find authenticity and express themselves therein, but machines show you how to use machines not bodies. Lifting weights may show you some of your strength but do not necessarily build your ability to relate well with what is heavy in your heart. This is what movement is for, here we honor process, not goals or desired results.
🌹Tuesday’s at noon - We will congregate at the East stairs of Buena Vista Park on the corner Haight street and we will be moving for about an hour. This is not a workout but it will make you warm and possibly perspire so active wear and a bottle of water is encouraged, though the less to hold = more freedom to move. Cash donations / trade of goods or services are accepted for this offering but there is no fee and no capitalism involved. All bodies of all shapes, sizes, ages and abilities are welcome and encouraged to join in on exposing their skin to the elements, especially the glutes (I will be wearing a thong and hope you can too).
There is no race
There is no homeland
No ethnicity or nationality
There is no such thing as a country
There is no patriotism
No outer space
There is no sex, no gender
There is no politics
No young, no old
There is no freedom or oppression
There is no peace
No fairness, no equality
There is no sickness, no health
There is no parent nor child
There is no name for what the human being can do
Because there is no limit to what the human being can do
The human body is the only thing that truly exists
Everything else is simply a perception or an extension of the spine
Pain is liberal
Sacrifice is progressive
Movement is radical
Fear is revolutionary
My gender is my love:
My gender is my bones
My teeth and my tail
My gender is my home:
My gender is my skin
My hair, and my nails
My gender is my song:
My gender is my walk
My talk and my tears
My gender is not just my body:
My gender is my ability to use my body
And to use my body is my purpose
A soldier fights in someone else's army
Armies are used for control
A warrior fights as an army for the self
Selves are used for freedom